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Suspected groovin bass player.
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July- 2006-DENVER CO
A local Denver bass player was caught red handed over this last weekend catching a groove. Witnesses report the man just simply stepped on stage and next thing you know he had the groove by the neck. "He just had it and wouldn't let go. It's was scary!" said one witness only know as Cubby Bubbles. Police responded with a quick check of the groove and after their investigation, the show went on. There were no reported injuries. Click Here for More Current Events
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RIAA Sues Radio Stations For Giving Away Free Music
LOS ANGELES—The Recording Industry Association of America filed a $7.1 billion lawsuit against the nation's radio stations Monday, accusing them of freely distributing copyrighted music.
"It's criminal," RIAA president Hilary Rosen said. "Anyone at any time can simply turn on a radio and hear a copyrighted song. Making matters worse, these radio stations often play the best, catchiest song off the album over and over until people get sick of it. Where is the incentive for people to go out and buy the album?"
According to Rosen, the radio stations acquire copies of RIAA artists' CDs and then broadcast them using a special transmitter, making it possible for anyone with a compatible radio-wave receiver to listen to the songs.
"These radio stations are extremely popular," Rosen said. "They flagrantly string our songs together in 'uninterrupted music blocks' of up to 70 minutes in length, broadcasting nearly one CD's worth of product without a break, and they actually have the gall to allow businesses to advertise between songs. It's bad enough that they're giving away our music for free, but they're actually making a profit off this scheme."
RIAA attorney Russell Frackman said the lawsuit is intended to protect the artists.
"If this radio trend continues, it will severely damage a musician's ability to earn a living off his music," Frackman said. "[Metallica drummer] Lars Ulrich stopped in the other day wondering why his last royalty check was so small, and I didn't know what to say. How do you tell a man who's devoted his whole life to his music that someone is able to just give it away for free? That pirates are taking away his right to support himself with his craft?"
For the record companies and the RIAA, one of the most disturbing aspects of the radio-station broadcasts is that anyone with a receiver and an analog tape recorder can record the music and play it back at will.
"I've heard reports that children as young as 8 tape radio broadcasts for their own personal use," Rosen said. "They listen to a channel that has a limited rotation of only the most popular songs—commonly called 'Top 40' stations—then hit the 'record' button when they hear the opening strains of the song they want. And how much are they paying for these songs? A big fat zip." Continued Rosen: "According to our research, there is one of these Top 40 stations in every major city in the country. This has to be stopped before the music industry's entire economic infrastructure collapses." Especially distressing to the RIAA are radio stations' "all-request hours," when listeners call in to ask radio announcers, or "disc jockeys," to play a certain song.
"What's the point of putting out a new Ja Rule or Sum 41 album if people can just call up and hear any song off the album that they want?" Frackman asked. "In some instances, these stations actually have the nerve to let the caller 'dedicate' his act of thievery to a friend or lover. Could you imagine a bank letting somebody rob its vaults and then allowing the thief to thank his girlfriend Tricia and the whole gang down at Bumpy's?"
Defenders of radio-based music distribution insist that the relatively poor sound quality of radio broadcasts negates the record companies' charges.
"Radio doesn't have the same sound quality as a CD," said Paul "Cubby" Bryant, music director of New York radio station Z100, one of the nation's largest distributors of free music and a defendant in the suit. "Real music lovers will still buy CDs. If anything, we're exposing people to music they might not otherwise hear. These record companies should be thanking us, not suingus."
Outraged by the RIAA suit, many radio listeners are threatening to boycott the record companies.
"All these companies care about is profits," said Amy Legrand, 21, an avid Jacksonville, FL, radio user who surreptitiously records up to 10 songs a day off the radio. "Top 40 radio is taking the power out of the hands of the Ahmet Erteguns of the world and bringing it back to the people of Clear Channel and Infinity Broadcasting. It's about time somebody finally stood up to those record-company fascists." |
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Band Bio
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Scott Julsen Bio
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Dale Williams Bio
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For booking information.
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Download your copy of the Scott Julsen Band press kit.
The download available in WinZip format. The kit contains black and white photo (group), song list, band bio, stage plots, and other useful information.
Press Kit
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Taco Bell's Five Ingredients Combined In Totally New Way
LOUISVILLE, KY–With great fanfare Monday, Taco Bell unveiled the Grandito, an exciting new permutation of refried beans, ground beef, cheddar cheese, lettuce, and a corn tortilla. "You've never tasted Taco Bell's five ingredients combined quite like this," Taco Bell CEO Walter Berenyi said. "The revolutionary new Grandito, with its ground beef on top of the cheese but under the beans, is configured unlike anything you've ever eaten here at Taco Bell." The fast-food chain made waves earlier this year with its introduction of the Zestito, in which the beans are on top of the lettuce, and the Mexiwrap, in which the tortilla is slightly more oblong.
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RIAA Bans Telling Friends About Songs
LOS ANGELES—The Recording Industry Association of America announced Tuesday that it will be taking legal action against anyone discovered telling friends, acquaintances, or associates about new songs, artists, or albums. "We are merely exercising our right to defend our intellectual properties from unauthorized peer-to-peer notification of the existence of copyrighted material," a press release signed by RIAA anti-piracy director Brad Buckles read. "We will aggressively prosecute those individuals who attempt to pirate our property by generating 'buzz' about any proprietary music, movies, or software, or enjoy same in the company of anyone other than themselves." RIAA attorneys said they were also looking into the legality of word-of-mouth "favorites-sharing" sites, such as coffee shops, universities, and living rooms.-sharing" sites, such as coffee shops, universities, and living rooms.
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Ken Lay's Corpse Sentenced To Prison
July 28, 2006
HOUSTON—A U.S. district court judge handed down the maximum sentence Tuesday to the body of former Enron CEO Kenneth L. Lay, who was convicted on multiple counts of securities and wire fraud when alive last May. "Mr. Lay, given the severity and scope of your blatant disregard for the laws and ethics of business, this court has no hesitation in posthumously sentencing you to rot in a maximum-security correctional facility," Judge Sim Lake said while addressing Lay's decomposing corpse Tuesday. "May God have already had mercy on your soul." Lay's remains will immediately begin serving a 45-year sentence, but could be eligible for parole as early as 2026 if they exhibit good behavior.
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I'm lost! I've gone to look for myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait.
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Lost. Valuable Belly Lint collection. This is very important for me to recover. I will pay a handsome reward. This collection has taken me years to collect.
Call 303-555-7841
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Found. Mint condition 1954 Pink "Spitter" Kazoo. The serial number is XS-10986. Would the owner of this please contact me ASAP. I know what it is worth, so you better not stiff me on the reward.
Call 303-555-7841 |
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Phish Collapses Onstage
Popular Band Overwhelmed By Stench Of Audience
MORRISON, CO—The music world was shaken by tragedy Sunday night when members of the popular rock band Phish collapsed on stage after being overcome by the stench of concert-goers during a show at the Red Rocks Amphitheater 20 miles outside Denver.
Phish bassist Mike Gordon, moments before he and his bandmates succumbed to fans' fumes.
The collapse occurred approximately 40 minutes into the song "You Enjoy Myself," when the four band members—Mike Gordon, Trey Anastasio, Johnathan Fishman and Page McConnell— became overwhelmed by a combination of body odor, marijuana and the patchouli oil many Phish fans use in lieu of bathing. The foursome was rushed to the emergency room of Denver Lutheran Hospital, where they were partially revived by emergency oxygen treatment. As of press time, the musicians are still listed in critical condition.
Though authorities are still debating the cause of the tragedy, preliminary reports indicate that a mechanical malfunction in the band's $45 million on-stage ventilation system is to blame. The system, which employs five computer-controlled, industrial-sized wind machines to blow fumes away from the stage area, has been used by the million-selling group since 1992 to combat the "danger layer" of toxic odors which surround the band's rabid fan base at all times.
Despite the ventilation breakdown, many observers feel that the real blame for the injuries lies with Phish itself, as for years the band has recklessly encouraged its fans' non-hygenic lifestyle.
"They've been burning the candle at both ends for way too long. This was bound to happen," said the EPA's Helen Duenoff, who as chair of the Hippie Band Toxicity Task Force has studied the effects of fan odor on members of bands like Phish, Rusted Root and Blues Traveler. "Phish's message of 'party now, wash later' has simply got to change."
Further controversy stems from the fact that efforts to save the stricken musicians were hampered by a semi-riot which occurred when rescue workers attempted to gain access to the stage area.
Surrounding the fallen performers in a circle of linked hands and attempting to heal them with "crystal light energy" and an improvised version of "Silent in the Morning," several hundred Phish fans erupted into violence at the sight of the gas mask-wearing, uniformed rescue personnel.
With angry shouts of "Attica!" and "Off the pig!" fans hurled hacky sacks and bongs at paramedics, and blocked ambulances arriving at the accident scene with hastily erected barricades.
Forming a linked-arm "human wall," the fans effectively trapped Phish and paramedics in a deadly envelope of unbreathable toxic vapor, holding off attempts to remove the band to safety for a full 30 minutes before finally being cleared by riot police, who used high-pressure fire hoses filled with a powerful soap/water solution to disperse the crowd.
"That was so wrong of those cops, man," said odorous fan Kathy Breyer, 20, whose brand-new hemp necklace and tie-dyed "Phishisgruvin" T-shirt were ruined in the hosing incident. "And worst of all, they did it right when the band was about to play 'Slave to the Traffic Light.'"
Added Breyer: "I have 940 bootlegs."
Only one member of Phish, singer/guitarist Trey Anastasio, managed to escape serious harm in the incident, going backstage unnoticed during one of the band's trademark hour-long jams to rest and consume drugs.
Anastasio was visibly moved as he spoke to the public. "I want to thank all our fans for massing here at the hospital in such incredible numbers, but believe me, we really need you to leave now," a gas-masked Anastasio said. "We appreciate the candlelight vigil and the chanting and all that, but the doctors all agree: We cannot hope to revive the rest of the guys unless we can somehow isolate them from the deadly column of vapors rising from the crowd."
Anastasio then attempted to rouse the assembled fans in a sing-along. "The skin is the part under the arm that makes contact with the soap," he sang to the crowd. "The soap is the bar that you use in the bath at your abode."
Two minutes into the refrain, Anastasio collapsed as well.
Phish's tour manager, Todd Geerholz, has vowed that steps will be taken to ensure that such an incident is not repeated.
"We are talking with Ticketron right now about requiring a chemical sponge bath for each customer before a ticket can be purchased," Geerholz said. "We're also definitely going to add a big personal hygiene appendix to next year's edition of the Phish Pharmers Almanac. If this is still not enough, Phish may have to forego touring altogether."
Preliminary testing indicates that as long as Phish's fans are not gathered together at one place for any extended lenghth of time, the stench rising from their unclean bodies will remain well under the life-threatening level.
Sunday's Phish collapse marks the most serious odor-related incident at a rock concert since July 1988, when Grateful Dead bassist Phil Lesh fell into a coma after an obese female fan ran on stage and hugged him during a show at Chicago's Soldier Field.
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